Thanksgiving 2009
Nov. 26th, 2009 | 03:48 pm
I'm no closer to figuring out why I deserve the wonderful people who enrich my life, but we've made it through another year together, so I'll keep my mouth shut — mostly — and enjoy the holiday.
Oh, look: a James Bond marathon.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
gratuitous view-sharing
Sep. 16th, 2009 | 05:40 pm
Nothing like the rare sunny San Francisco afternoon to make me realize that the Gentrification Station's window-washer is incompetent.
you missed a spot, and by "spot" I mean "pretty much the whole window"
you missed a spot, and by "spot" I mean "pretty much the whole window"
Link | Leave a comment [1] | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
this thing is like that thing
Jul. 30th, 2009 | 10:10 am
Victor Vangelakos lives in a luxury condominium tower on the Caloosahatchee River. He never has to worry about the neighbors making too much noise. There are no neighbors.—Downtown Fort Myers condo has 32 stories, and one lonely tale, Fort Meyers News-Press
Vangelakos, 45, his wife Cathy and their three children are the only residents in the 32-story Oasis I condo on the east edge of downtown Fort Myers.
We're still the only occupied residential unit in the Gentrification Station, and, you know, I kind of like it. To be fair, nobody's thrown our furniture in the pool; then again, we don't have a pool....
Relatedly, who wants to be my neighbor? Check out the furniture-free imaginary pool.
Previously:
Boop boop boop, etc.
Link | Leave a comment [1] | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
notes on one's carbon footprint
Jul. 15th, 2009 | 01:28 am
You know, since our neighbor moved out, our elevator consistently has been wherever I left it last. I kind of like that.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
an unfortunately true anecdote
May. 11th, 2009 | 03:58 pm
I left the office early today to avoid a meeting, intending to finish two projects from my kitchen table then sneak in a gym run before the crush of cougars after Oprah.
Upon arriving home, I set down my bag, opened it to unpack my belongings, and came to the conclusion that I had somehow left my computer at work.
I was annoyed about this, although not devastated — but I wanted to phone someone still at work to have him make sure the computer was on my desk and not, e.g., sitting in the parking garage. Since calling him would interrupt him in the meeting I was avoiding, however, I decided to check first whether he was online to receive an instant message.
I opened my computer and scanned my inboxes while waiting for the chat program to log on. After about ten seconds, I snapped my fingers and pointed at the computer.
"Oh!" I said, aloud, to my empty kitchen. "Huh!"
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
ex-post-facto automobile design analysis
May. 11th, 2009 | 02:51 am
In latest-model E36 convertible coupes, the driver's-side seat-warmer control, i.e., the it's cold!, turn the heat up! control, was located directly adjacent to the roof-lowering control, i.e., the it's sunny!, drop that top! control. At 2:40A in San Francisco's Sunset District, i.e., the there's no warmth between here and China District, this design oversight elicits rage and some chattering of teeth.
Relatedly: Memo! to the shirtless guy jaywalking circa. 18th & Castro!: you may have wondered who the hell would drive home in a convertible at a quarter to three in the goddamn morning, but the joke is still on you. At least my butt was warm. Put some goddamn clothes on!
Relatedly: Memo! to the shirtless guy jaywalking circa. 18th & Castro!: you may have wondered who the hell would drive home in a convertible at a quarter to three in the goddamn morning, but the joke is still on you. At least my butt was warm. Put some goddamn clothes on!
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
now you know! subsidized maps -> crime
Apr. 27th, 2009 | 01:03 pm
While trolling our office garage to ogle the bossman's shiny BMW*, I came upon an early 1980s map of San Francisco bus and subway lines.
The map itself isn't too interesting — it was published after the last stage of the Market Street subway had opened, so things look mostly the same as today, only with the Embarcadero Freeway and without the T line... — but I was tickled by the "editorial" on the back page.
Looks like someone was displeased with whom the city had hired for this or that map contract. As we all know, that's Communist!
____________________
* True story. "I want one," I said. Bossman said something about paying me too much.
The map itself isn't too interesting — it was published after the last stage of the Market Street subway had opened, so things look mostly the same as today, only with the Embarcadero Freeway and without the T line... — but I was tickled by the "editorial" on the back page.
Looks like someone was displeased with whom the city had hired for this or that map contract. As we all know, that's Communist!
____________________
* True story. "I want one," I said. Bossman said something about paying me too much.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Save Medjool!
Apr. 24th, 2009 | 12:58 pm
this
Is the popular rooftop bar at Medjool dead?—S.F. Chron
Starting as early as Friday, the restaurant's politically connected owner, Gus Murad, faces daily fines of $250 for the hip bar. The Mission District hot spot, which has hosted more than its share of campaign fundraisers, was built illegally, according to city planners.
We must save Medjool!
They are a good neighbor promoting sustainable, appropriate neighborhood improvements through entirely legal means, unlike that big bad corporate military-industrial clothing boutique.
You know, kids, if it were possible for both the hiptards and the d-bags to lose, simultaneously, I would endorse it. Since it's unlikely, however, fuck it all: it's time to move to Noe Valley and buy a Volvo.
Link | Leave a comment [2] | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Walk into the kitchen, Carol Anne
Apr. 15th, 2009 | 05:54 pm
This week, the sun has begun setting directly into my stairwell at precisely the time I arrive home from work and attempt to walk up the stairs.
With some quick NatSci 18200 calculations I probably could figure out how many more days this phenomenon will persist; with a pair of sunglasses I meanwhile could prevent retinal damage.
Every night, though, it just reminds me of the walk-into-the-light sequence from Poltergeist, and a spooky John Williams score ends up earworming me through dinnertime.
Is this what it will feel like when I die? Will I have to carry my laptop bag into heaven, too?
With some quick NatSci 18200 calculations I probably could figure out how many more days this phenomenon will persist; with a pair of sunglasses I meanwhile could prevent retinal damage.
Every night, though, it just reminds me of the walk-into-the-light sequence from Poltergeist, and a spooky John Williams score ends up earworming me through dinnertime.
Is this what it will feel like when I die? Will I have to carry my laptop bag into heaven, too?
 |
 |
| duhn-duhn ... duhn-duhn ... | duhn-duhn-duhn-duhn ... duhn-duhn... |
 | |
| duhn-duhn-DUHNNNNNNN! | |
Link | Leave a comment [1] | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
I, Googlewhacker
Apr. 9th, 2009 | 01:33 pm
keep at it, fella
In an e-mail with roommates about carpentry work on the Gentrification Station's downstairs bathroom, I got to use the phrase
direct line-of-sight between the elevator and my wang
Know who else has used that phrase? Nobody, that's who.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
my lawn: get off of it
Mar. 8th, 2009 | 05:45 pm
First the linen shirts, now this.
Today, a suburban field trip to help my parents burn through the quarterly booze allowance at their club — a truly selfless filial duty if ever one were — and comb through accumulated junkmail.
Standing over the shredder, I had my afternoon ruined by this: my very own invitation to join AARP.
I'm unsure whether to credit a vindictive ex or the world's laziest direct marketing mail-merge. Either way, I just lost ten minutes staring at my crow's feet, wondering whether I could pull off flashing this at the movie theater for cheap tickets.
Time to contemplate the ramifications over a Campari down at the shuffleboard decks, after which I'll drive my Buick into a farmers' market very, very slowly.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
war is over!
Feb. 5th, 2009 | 08:03 pm
elated, we immediately washed our hair and bought clean pants
And overnight, the Mission returned to a working-class Mexican family burg with which young, hyper-educated and affluent kids in tight pants and stupid haircuts wanted no involvement. Everyone's bands dissolved, the kickball team relocated to Christopher Columbus Square, the bicycle shops were replaced with polyester cowboy shirts and Jesus candles, and all of us moved back to Berkeley, or Stamford, or Springfield, or wherever. There remained one bar that still served Schlitz, but only to union laborers from the local docks and artists who could prove lack of income; the rest were torn down, memorial plaques erected in their stead that read, "Lame white kids once ruined this neighborhood before they changed their mind and stopped themselves" — in Spanish.
American Apparel Stopped, Mission Mission
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
dogs and cats sleeping together!
Feb. 4th, 2009 | 11:14 am
Link | Leave a comment [1] | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Outlandos d'Amour was a good record, though
Jan. 27th, 2009 | 04:50 am
MONTREAL – Montreal police have asked the city to empower local officers to crack down on insult-hurling citizens – likely with a blow to their pocketbooks....
...
The union wants Tremblay to make it illegal for members of the public to call cops profanity-laced nicknames, or to call them names like "pig" and "doughnut-eater."Montreal was also expected to pass a motion Monday night to meet another police request... that would prohibit protesters from covering their faces during demonstrations.
—Montreal police ask city to make insults illegal, Toronto Star
Claude Dauphin, Montreal's executive member in charge of public security, said there would be exceptions to the rule.
For example, demonstrators would have the right to don headgear resembling a particular politician whose position is the target of a rally, or slip on a ski mask when the temperature dips to -25 C.
Men's Heavyweight T-Shirt: Blasting At Random Targets, Matt Did That
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Up next: Cubs fans, tapas bars
Jan. 22nd, 2009 | 10:16 am
DEPT. OF I'VE-GOT-MINE;-PULL-UP-THE-LADDER:
Hiptard-on-hiptard violence threatens to escalate as the first American Apparel comes to The Mission. I fully expect tonight's protest rally at the Makeout Room to include some very sternly worded screen prints indeed.
Maybe then a bicycle ride to the place with the cheap beer and ironic board games to argue about the new Animal Collective LP. Someone will document it all meticulously with aDSLR Polaroid. It's going to be fresh.
Hiptard-on-hiptard violence threatens to escalate as the first American Apparel comes to The Mission. I fully expect tonight's protest rally at the Makeout Room to include some very sternly worded screen prints indeed.
Maybe then a bicycle ride to the place with the cheap beer and ironic board games to argue about the new Animal Collective LP. Someone will document it all meticulously with a